The subject of this post is what not to do when you’re having a really bad day and things go crazy wrong. I’m talking about something totally unexpected that makes you so angry that you want yell like Tarzan and Stanley Kowalski, and any movie involving Al Pacino. You know, a childbirth sort of primal let-it-out yowl.
Yeah, well, I had one of those days yesterday. I received news that I didn’t want to hear and spoke with someone who only delivered more frustrating, shriek-worthy news. I do need to let you know that no one’s health was involved here. I am healthy, as far, as I know. And my family is healthy, too. It’s just something else horrible that would take me a while to explain to you and it really needs its own novel, which I am actually slowly writing. But the exact badness of the news isn’t important. It’s the reaction of me to the news.
It overwhelmed me and stopped me from doing anything but respond to the news, which means I didn’t write or market my work or do any job sort of things, or make a nice meal. I ranted and raved all day long. Yeah, I was a regular one-person rave party. So here’s what I learned from it:
1) When you’re really mad and are about to speak to the person delivering the undesirable news, do NOT, I repeat speak to them. Instead say, I will call you back later when I’ve had a moment to process. Otherwise, the person on the other end will only be in a state of absorb your initial anger when the bearer of the news, the mere messenger, may not be truly responsible. You know that wisdom, don’t be a messenger of bad news cause kings have them killed. Well, this makes me really feel sorry for actual messengers. They have a rough job. Actually, I think the original saying was–don’t shoot the messenger. No, the original saying was probably, don’t club the messenger who told you that your family was eaten by a Saber tooth tiger and before that it was probably, don’t eat the messenger. But I’m getting behind myself here, at least in terms of time. Instead of ranting, write it out and then decide a few hours later if you really want to send anything. You might change your mind, or not. Right now I’m worried that I’m going to change my mind about this post.
2) Do not try to make a meal involving sharp knifes or anything messy because you are not yourself and you will slip and something even messier will happen. Did this happen to me yesterday? No, but it has happened to me in the past and I have an ugly scar on my pointer finger from some stitches to prove it. When you are really upset it’s time for frozen food or even better yet take out.
3) Do not get in a car and rush because you are late because you are so busy being mad and letting lots of official people know how mad you are. Instead walk or let someone else drive you. Or probably best to stay home. Have I ever been in rush and gotten in a car? Did I do this yesterday? Not in the thick of madness, praise the Lord! Have I? Oh yes, and I have a new car to prove it. A few months ago, I was in a mad rush and someone had accidently parked in front of my driveway and I didn’t see them and –boom! Hence, the new mini- van for me. Actually, I was rewarded for rushing mad behavior –that doesn’t make sense. Life doesn’t always make sense, does it?
4) Do no eat things that you will regret later. For example, I am gluten sensitive and eating anything gluten will usually stress out my system. But in my stress I had pizza and now my little sensitive system is going—why did you do that? But I get the stress eating. Just try to find something that is naughty but nice, too. Does such a thing exist? I sure hope so.
Okay, I’m going to stop here at four things you shouldn’t do because I really don’t want to become the expert on how-not-react-when-you’re-mad. I want to be the expert on how-to-get-everything-you-want-and-be-happy-all-of-the-time. Oh, but I’m human so that’s not possible. How about most of the time? I’m really don’t express my anger very often (which is probably a problem and the reason why I write books), so you won’t see a post like this too much. Unless you’re planning on phoning me up with some bad news, that is. And if you are, forgetaboutit. And if you’re a pizza delivery guy, I’m slamming the door in your face. Did I say I was through with the anger thing? Apparently not.
I really, really do want to end on a happy note here. So I’m going to say that I’m going to stop writing this post so I can work on my fiction writing. And you should probably stop reading this post and do something productive too.